Giovedì, 01 Luglio, 2004 | Posted by Marie Sven Gerkin at 07:00

I can't sleep anymore. i can't get to sleep. it just seems that they just keep coming back. that night just keeps coming back. i can no longer tell if i'm dreaming or awake. i relive it night after night. like watching a movie over and over again.

i don't know why I said "Bye". i don't know why i called him "Dad".

Venerdì, 02 Luglio, 2004 | Posted by Lionel Gerkin at 07:08

Telephone calls in the middle of the night always scare me. I don't know why. They just do. I just know that the Lottery people don't work at that hour of the day, so it's rarely going to be good news. I suppose they could be calling from the other side of the world. Although I don't think I have ever entered a lottery on the other side of the world.

Any way a telephone ringing is one of those sounds that is impossible to ignore. I remember reading somewhere that people would interrupt anything to answer the phone, including sex.

I had never heard Marie like that. It was also the first time she had ever called me "Dad".

I threw on my clothes and made one phone call before rushing over. I called the police.

As I lock the door I noticed the lights on in thefront room. I'd turn them off soon. There was no one there to keep awake. The phone had not interrupted anything like sex for me. I wasn't even dreaming about it.

Martedì, 13 Luglio, 2004 | Posted by Marie Sven Gerkin at 08:48

it just keeps coming back. over and over. like a dream. i just know it's not a dream. not a dream. it just continues. i can't stop it.

INTERIOR. EARLY MORNING. THE KITCHEN OF SMALL SUBURBAN HOUSE.
MARIE, lies on the floor, shivering in her night dress. It is torn around the collar. The drop of blood around her bottom lip has now pushed its way through the tiny opening and is sliding down her chin. It drips free flying through the air in slow motion. Marie watches it fall in slow motion. And then it splatters against her knee. The fabric of her night dress sucks it in hungrily.

She tries to move but it feels like her leg is broken. The pain is quite strong, but she does not cry. She barely feels it. Her eyes are heavy. She wants to sleep. Just needs a few hours and she'll be right. It'll all be over.

Through heavy lids she looks up and sees her mother, SILVIA fly across the room. She can't take her eyes off the vision. It's not graceful. Her mother is a graceful dancer and she notices that this is not graceful.

The arc of her flight reaches its apex and she returns to earth with an enormous thud. Her mother crashes into the table Marie is lying next to. A chair smashes from the impact of Silvia's body. Shards of wood explode across the room. One enters Silvia's shoulder and blood slowly gushes out. She looks across at her daughter and smiles. Her eyes close. Her face is battered and blue. The clean, symmetrical lines of her mother's face all shattered.

Silvia always had a beautiful body. Marie can see parts of it now. The red dress that once covered her shapely lines has been torn. She can see bruises across the bare skin.

Marie, in her state, can't remember how they both got here. How they both ended up under a table in the early morning of a day she can no longer remember. What happened.

A shadow appears in front of her. A large shadow that grows. It creeps up her leg, past the blood spot that fell earlier, up her torso until it blocks out the light. Marie hears a laugh from the shadow. She looks up. It is just a black shape, enveloped by the light. It speaks gently and softly reassuringly. Yet there is a sharp razor blade hidden in every word. It slices through the air. It slices through her heart. Someone will soon feast on the pieces.

Marie looks over at her mother. She lies still as if trying to hide. The dark shape crouches down. It can no longer obstuct the light and it reveals features that Marie would rather not see. It is Jesus Miguel Luis Rodriguez. A huge smile on his face. He licks his lips.

JESUS
Hello, my lovely.

MARIE
What have you done to my muffer?

JESUS
My poor child, can't you see, she's just sleeping. Now come to daddy.

SFX: EXTERIOR. THE SOUND OF A CAR'S TYRES SCREECHING TO A STOP. A CAR DOOR OPENS QUICKLY. FOOTSTEPS, AT FIRST SLOW, THEN RUNNING. SOMEONE AT THE DOOR KNOCKING, THEN TAPPING LOUDLY AT THE WINDOW.

will they ever go away? will they eventually stop, doctor? doctor? are you there, doctor, can you hear me?

Sabato, 17 Luglio, 2004 | Posted by Detective Stevens at 13:46

I first heard about the incident while lying in bed. I often have the police radio just going. It doesn't help me sleep, I don't sleep too well. It's cold in bed, even with the electric blanket. It's been cold ever since she left me.

She was a dancer. Amazing. You would watch her dance and you could see the music. There was the blare of the trumpet as she stamped her feet. She'd swoon across your chest and it felt like the cool caress of a Wynton Marsalis's trumpet. Her lips were soft like the a Miles Davis Collection. And whenever, we were together, my heart just beat like a drum.

Hey, well that was then. I don't talk about it anymore. Can't even mention her name. But I still see her music. I often see her in the dark. I saw her that evening as I was listening to the police radio. I saw her shadow slowly slide across the wall. I wanted to welcome her, to talk with her.

But I was distracted by a name on the radio. A name that had stolen her and taken her away. I never knew who she was looking for. In the end I just knew it wasn't me.

The name I heard mention was Jesus Miguel Luis Rodriguez.

I don't normally go out on nights like this as if it were sport. I just knew that something had happened that I had to go see. It was like I could see a car crash up ahead and I had to veer closer to take a look, to see if there were any survivors.

Lunedì, 19 Luglio, 2004 | Posted by Marie Sven Gerkin at 22:37

what's going on? I can hear this music. i don't know what it is, but the tune sounds really familiar. the words are not words that are normally heard. the first verse is left out. but it's the song that i heard on that night. i remember it. oh god, it's all rushing back.

When all the world is a hopeless jumble, and the raindrops tumble all around, heaven opens a magic lane.
When all the clouds darken up the skyway,
there's a rainbow highway to be found,
leading from your window pane, to a place behind the sun,
just a step beyond the rain.

why is everyone smiling. why are they smiling. don't they know what happened that night. oh, no! i can hear the camera whirring. film rushing through the gate. 24 frames per second. that song.

INTERIOR. EARLY MORNING. THE KITCHEN OF A SMALL SUBURBAN HOUSE.
It is Silvia's house. Silvia is sprawled across the floor. She has not moved. Marie, is next to her. Her leg probably broken. Her body heaving with tears that are falling down her face uncontrollably.

SFX: THERE IS A LOUD RAPPING ON THE WINDOW
A man, LIONEL, stands at the window shouting, asking for someone to open the door. He is calling out someone's name. Marie cannot make out the name. She looks at the loud knocking. She sees Lionel. She hears what he is saying.

LIONEL
Marie! Marie! Open the door. Marie! Marie! Open the door.

OFF SCREEN IN LOUNGE ROOM JUST OFF KITCHEN
Marie hears the sound of a man laughing. It is JESUS. She moves herself, trying to get to the door. She pulls herself across the polished floorboards. A small stream of blood snakes its way behind her.

LIONEL
Good girl, Marie! You can do it.

Why doesn't he just smash a window, she thinks. Why doesn't he do what most men would do. Why doesn't he!

OFF SCREEN IN LOUNGE ROOM JUST OFF KITCHEN
The music starts to play. It is a song that is very familiar. Marie stops. She hasn't ever heard the words of this opening chorus. But the song is so familiar.

LIONEL
Marie! Don't stop. Keep going. Marie!

What is that goddam song? Why can't she recognise it?

LYRICS (from other room)
When all the world is a hopeless jumble, and the raindrops tumble all around, heaven opens a magic lane.
When all the clouds darken up the skyway,
there's a rainbow highway to be found,
leading from your window pane, to a place behind the sun,
just a step beyond the rain.

LIONEL
Marie! Don't stop. Keep going. Marie!

What is that goddam song? Why can't she recognise it?

There is a loud laugh just behind her. A big strong hand picks her up effortlessly, and pulls her back to her starting spot. It pulls her by her broken leg. The pain makes her scream.

LIONEL
Marie! Marie!

JESUS (leaning down over Marie)
What is it baby, don't you recognise this song? Oh, come on, you must. it's a classic. Everyone knows this song. Just wait for the chorus. Here it comes.

LYRICS (from other room)
Somewhere, over the rainbow, way up high, there's a land that I heard of once in a lullaby.
Somewhere over the rainbow, skies are blue, and the dreams that you dare to dream, really do come true.

JESUS (leaning down over Marie)
Recognise it now, baby?

SFX: THERE IS THE CRASH OF GLASS.
A rock lands heavily on the floor and rolls up to Marie. He finally did it, she thinks. Why did it take so long?

LIONEL
(To Silvia who hasn't moved)Sorry about the glass, Silvia. I'll pay for it.
(To Jesus) You bastard, get away from her. I'll, ...

MARIE
No, Dadf, ...

Lionel has raced toward Jesus who has risen to his feet. Lionel swings a blow that hits Jesus on the shoulder. Jesus laughs. From below, Marie sees his pony tail bob up and down as the laughter continues. Jesus is enjoying this. He cocks his arm and then releases the trigger. His fist slams into Lionel's face. His nose is crushed. Blood spurts out in a rush to be free. It drips across the floor, red and filled with specs of bone. It entwines with Marie's own to form a slippery sludge.

JESUS
Come to save your little girl have you. She's not your little girl. She's mine.

Jesus's laughter has disappeared. He draws a knife from a holster at the back of his pants. It's a big knife. One you would not like to mess with. He holds it up high and poised over Lionel.

Lionel kicks out. His foot strikes Jesus on the shin. It is not this, but the mixture of blood the floor that makes Jesus tumble. His pants are covered in a film of blood. Marie notices the shining steel gun that is normally strapped to his ankle. The strap has come loose but Jesus has not noticed.

Jesus swings past Marie. He is filled with murderous rage. Bile that is about to spill over as it has done many times before. In an attempt to stop him Marie grabs him by the leg. Jesus, kicks her away violently throwing her across the room and crashing into a chair. He turns to Lionel, who is still clutching his nose.

JESUS
This knife has dealt with men far more worthy than you. Luckily for me it is not choosy who it deals with.

The knife is lifted high. Its shadow races across the wall. It is about to start it descent into mayhem. But, there is a loud explosion in the room from behind Jesus. The sound reverberates around the walls trying to find its escape. Jesus looks down at his chest. His face is in shock. There is a hole in his brand new DKNY Pullover. His blood is spurting out. He falls to the floor. The last thing he sees is the barrel of the gun he normally keeps strapped to his ankle. It is smoking peacefully and contented.

I could never figure out that song.

Mercoledì, 21 Luglio, 2004 | Posted by Detective Stevens at 22:57

The first thing I remember about that incident is turning up in a daze. I knew immediately I was too late. I also knew this was Silvia's house. As I approached, I heard the most unexpected thing. It is music coming out from the house.

I enter to see Silvia dead on the floor. The place is a mess. Blood is splattered around the floor and sprayed across the walls of the room. The leg of a chair has embedded itself into Silvia's neck. I still recognise the woman that comes visit me on some lonely nights when I dare to dream.

The music that was playing reminded me so much of her. Her optimism and spirit. She was indestructible.

Her destroyer was lying next to her. The shocked look on his face was almost comical. He had never believed that it would end like this. Shot with his own gun. if only I could have seen it.

And the music played on. The sun was just starting to come up. It was bright and the rain over night was now glistening in the warm light. Lionel's nose was being attended to. I saw Marie. She was totally confused. Poor Kid. She didn't recognise me. Seeing your mother in that way. It has to do it to you.

Take it from me, in Rhumbaland things rarely have a fairy tale ending. They rarely resemble anything that you may have once heard of in a lullaby. I stepped outside and listened to the music. I just let the morning sun warm me.

Somewhere, over the rainbow, way up high,
there's a land that I heard of once in a lullaby.
Somewhere over the rainbow, skies are blue,
and the dreams that you dare to dream, really do come true.

Sabato, 24 Luglio, 2004 | Posted by Lionel Gerkin at 18:21

Every now and then it comes back to me. I have tried to forget without success.

I heard the explosion. My mouth was bleeding. My head was throbbing. It felt like a bowling ball, hard, heavy and it was just bobbing all over the place. I couldn't hold it up.

But I heard the explosion.

At first I thought it was in my head. I thought he had hit me again. And then I felt that stringent smell sneak into my nostrils like an intruder. It crawled in and I tried to cough. I tried to squeeze it back out. I had no idea who had been shot. I looked out my swollen lids and saw the gun. I saw a small hand holding it.

The hand was trembling uncontrollably. I followed the arm up its length and saw my daughter's face, Marie.

Jesus was on the floor. Blood was spilling out into the room. His eyes still glowed with shock. Shock at having been hit.

In the distance I heard the Police siren wailing to announce its arrival. It would be here soon. The sun had now come up. I had to act quickly. In that instance, my head seemed crystal clear.

I crawled over to Marie. I looked in her eyes and saw nothing. It was as if some thin film of reality had been shattered and she was gone with it.

I took the gun. I wiped it clean. I wiped off her sweat from the handle. I wiped drips of blood from the tip of the barrel. I wiped her face. At that moment, she had no idea who I was, no idea.

I held the gun in my hand. I grasped it's cold shape and raised myself to my feet. I walked over to Jesus's body now and forever lying still and already starting to decay back to dust. I could smell where his bowels had given way and opened for the last time.

I lifted the gun, pointed at the body on the floor and pulled the trigger.

Then, there was just silence. And that song was still playing:

Someday, I'll wish upon a star
and wake up where the clouds are far behind me.
Where troubles melt like lemon drops, away above the chimney tops,
that's where you'll find me.

Lunedì, 26 Luglio, 2004 | Posted by Marie Sven Gerkin at 18:33

i pulled the trigger? did i pull the trigger? was that me? it's a memory that i keep getting. i think i did. i think i did.

he touched me. he had tried to take my top off and touch me. he put his lips to my face. i felt his tongue on my face. mum, don't he'll hurt you. don't hurt her. stop hitting her. no don't touch me there please. get away from me. no, mum. don't hurf her.donf huf her. i couldn't speak properly. i couldn't say what i wanted to say. i couldn't help her. i couldn't help her.

Bang. Bang. why were there two bangs?

Mercoledì, 28 Luglio, 2004 | Posted by Detective Stevens at 18:56

The case was all over before it even started. Well, there was never really any case to answer. Jesus's record spoke for itself. His history of violence, the fact that he had murdered Silvia, the fact that he had assaulted his own daughter and Lionel. There was never going to be any jury that was going to feel any remorse for the guy.

And neither should there be.

Who could blame Lionel for shooting the guy. Purely self-defence said the Judge and the jury agreed.

The only thing I couldn't understand was why there were two shots. Why did he fire two shots? The first one had obviously killed Jesus. So, there he is. Jesus is lying on the floor. Not moving. Blood spilling out. Lionel gets up, takes three minutes to get close and then fires again.

Lionel said it was fear. He had been so scared that he just fired again.

Knowing Jesus, I think I would have fired twice as well, maybe even unloaded the entire gun into the prick.

But I wouldn't have waited some three minutes. Why the wait? I don't know. I can't figure it out and I don't think I or anyone else was very keen to find out. Let it go. It's all over.

I remember looking out over the garden on the morning it happened. As I have already mentioned, it was a gorgeous morning. Fresh, sun shining. Just beautiful. I stood below the tree and heard the birds chirping away as if everything was fine in the world. There they were just flying about without a care. They were in search of the tastiest worms for breakfast.

And then I saw it. It was a rainbow. It arched its way across the sky in a sign of wonder. I saluted it and set off for home and breakfast.

Somewhere over the rainbow, bluebirds fly.
Birds fly over the rainbow, why then, oh, why can't I?
If all those little bluebirds fly beyond the rainbow,
why, oh why, can't I?